When you decide to open your home, your family, your life, and your heart to a child…

No one tells you it will be easy.

No one tells you how it will affect your family.

No one tells you this because they cannot possibly know.

No one knows how this kiddo will fit into your family.

Will he get along with the cousins?

Will he have “VanDalen” tendencies even though he is not one biologically?

Will he play with your ear as he falls asleep on your chest?

Will there come a time when he tells you he hates you?

Will he say, “I WISH YOU NEVER ADOPTED ME!” as he slams his bedroom door in rage?

Will others look at you with disgust in the grocery store or the restaurant because he is having his twelfth meltdown of the day?

Will he ever truly appreciate the fact that he is a part of this family?


People don’t tell you that adoption is easy

because it isn’t.

People don’t tell you that adoption is peaceful

because it isn’t.

People don’t tell you that adoption is always smiles

because it isn’t.


Yet, adoptive parents can find hope because

what people don’t know,

God does.

He knew that child’s story and background better than anyone.

He knew the minute that child was conceived.

He “knew him before he was born and every day of his life was recorded in His book.”

He knew the day you would conceive the idea to consider this foreign, scary adventure called “adoption.”

He knew how to prepare that child’s heart for your family.

He knew the second you would lay eyes on him for the first time.

He knew that this child needed you

AND that you needed him.

He knew all of this.

So even though we don’t know.

Even though life seems stressful and unplanned, and sometimes the child who you feel like you sacrificed so much for repays you by throwing a tantrum in the grocery store,


God knows.

He knows you.

He knows your child.

He knew what he was doing when he called you to adopt that child.

He knows what he is doing as he continually calls you to raise and love that child.


Although there are many things no one prepare you for when you choose to adopt,

God already knows

how it will work out,

who that child will be,

and how you will learn to be the parent that that child needs.

(Even if it feels like you are drowning, trust me

you’re doing better than you think you are.)










2 thoughts on “what no one tells you about adoption

  1. Taylor, this is fantastic, well written and so very true. God knows the minute we are conceived He knows what lies ahead. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts. Looking forward to more.
    Darcey (Nana) Strand


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